When Love Came Down to Earth

This has song has become one of my favorite songs. We recently sang it at church alongside a sermon talking about God's love for us. I remember our pastor making the point that Christmas reminds us that God loves us'. Immediately my reaction was, "Not this year". I didn't feel loved and in fact Christmas was a reminder of how much life sucked right now. It was hard to enjoy any Christmas activities like making cookies, watching movies, decorating, listening to Christmas music, etc. But I have come to realize that all of these things that were not enjoyable this year were all superficial things that had nothing to do with Christmas anyways. It was not the most wonderful time of the year and we were not having a holly jolly Christmas. Those things were conditional. But what is true is that a savior was born to bring hope and restore peace between God and us.

Although life doesn't feel merry and bright, I can agree that Christmas is about God's love for us and the joy, peace, hope, and help Christ's birth provides.


"When love came down to earth
And made His home with men,
The hopeless found a hope,
The sinner found a friend.
Not to the powerful
But to the poor He came,
And humble, hungry hearts
Were satisfied again.

What joy, what peace has come to us!
What hope, what help, what love!

When every unclean thought,
And every sinful deed
Was scourged upon His back
And hammered through His feet.
The Innocent is cursed,
The guilty are released;
The punishment of God
On God has brought me peace.

What joy, what peace has come to us!
What hope, what help, what love!

Come lay your heavy load
Down at the Master’s feet;
Your shame will be removed,
Your joy will be complete.
Come crucify your pride,
And enter as a child;
For those who bow down low
He’ll lift up to His side.

What joy, what peace has come to us!
What hope, what help, what love!"

Liam's No Good Very Bad Day

Where to start. Yesterday Liam just fell apart on us. To start off, he woke up at 5:45 am. We know that he as been teething so he's been more fussy than usual. Yesterday was Evan's Birthday so we drove up to my mom's to spend a couple of days with them. When we got to their place it was around Liam's nap time, but he wouldn't go down without a fight. He cried and cried as we tried to put him down. Finally my mom and I just put him down (still crying) and walked out of the room. We just closed the door when we heard a thud followed by more crying. Sure enough, Liam had jumped out of his pack-n-play and hit his head on the floor. I stayed in the room with him for an hour trying to calm him down and put him back to sleep but no avail. So, he just didn't have a nap that day. Later that evening he started getting delirious and was playing on the couch, jumping up and sliding off. Well, that ended with a face plant to floor and a minor bloody nose and busted lip. He wailed and wailed once again for bedtime and we just left him in there. Eventually he stopped crying and fell asleep (waking up a few time). When 2:30 am rolled around and Dylan and I were trading off Felicity duty, Liam woke up screaming with a full on bloody nose. Dylan cleaned him up and put him back to bed. Then again at 6:30 Liam woke up with another bloody nose. He looked like he got in a bar fight.

I wish that was the end of his drama but that just happened in a 24 hour period.

The saga continues.

Just a day of Eating Turkey

I found it very hard to say that I'm thankful for anything today. Of course I have things to be thankful for but there is an overpowering sense of loss that keeps me from being happy about anything. A year ago today was the last time my family was all together. Tessa and I had the brilliant idea of hosing our first Thanksgiving and we made everything from scratch. It was great and everything turned out delicious. If I had known then that it would be our last, I would have cherished every moment. It's just crazy to think that every passing day is another day further away from us being together.

Today I found myself grieving the loss of my children's grandfather. It all started this morning with a stupid retirement commercial that showed a man just playing with his grandkids and being so happy about spending time with them. My dad would have been a great grandfather and I'm so sad that my kids will never know him. He loved Liam and couldn't wait for him to be at an age where he could really play with him. It just sucks that our kids will have no memories with him and will only know him through stories or pictures.

Dad I wish you could see how crazy and rambunctious Liam is and how beautifully ethnic Felicity is. I can't believe you're not here and that they won't know you.

Yet I Will Praise

This song has been one that I have loved for about a decade now. It was one that I learned to play and even played it at church once in High School. Ironically, it resurfaced in my life and I have been wanting to sing it again. At the time I was concerned that I had no life experience to make this song authentic. Boy do I have it now. Unfortunately I can't really say the words reflect what is in my heart right now, but in time I hope they do. I can praise God for my father's life and all that He did through him, but I'm not able to praise Him for his death because I can't see the good that has come from it. At least not yet.

(Ignore the cheesy video, just listen to the song and read the words)


Yet I Will Praise - Vineyard

I will praise You Lord my God
Even in my brokenness
I will praise You Lord
I will praise You Lord my God
Even in my desperation
I will praise You Lord

And I can't understand
All that You allow
I just can't see the reason
But my life is in Your hands
And though I cannot see You
I choose to trust You

Even when my heart is torn I will praise You Lord
Even when I feel deserted I will praise You Lord
Even in my darkest valley I will praise You Lord
And when my world is shattered and it seems all hope is gone
Yet I will praise You Lord

I will trust You Lord my God
Even in my loneliness
I will trust You Lord
I will trust You Lord my God
Even when I cannot hear You
I will trust You Lord

And I will not forget
That You hung on a cross
Lord You bled and died for me
And if I have to suffer
I know that You've been there
And I know that You're here now

Even when my heart is torn I will trust You Lord
Even when I feel deserted I will trust You Lord
Even in my darkest valley I will trust You Lord
And when my world is shattered and it seems all hope is gone
Yet I will praise You Lord

Not According to Plan

This isn't the post I thought I would be writing following my daughter's birth (I will write her birth story later). Two weeks ago, after nearly 40 hours of labor, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl naturally. And I thought that that was the big obstacle God was calling me to overcome. Little did I know there was more in store. I was discharged from the hospital around noon on Friday and Saturday morning I was awoken to the worst news of my life. My father had suddenly died. I was stunned, shocked, and heartbroken. So with my 3 day old baby in my hands I began my journey of grief.

There is so much to say about what has happened over the last two weeks, so many different emotions. I still don't know how to balance the joy I feel over having this beautiful little girl with the sorrow I feel knowing that I won't have any new memories of my father.

I hate:
- That my mother is widow and will have to live the next 20-30 years without my dad
- That my father was hours away from meeting my daughter (they were supposed to visit that Saturday)
- That this happened before the holidays
- That Liam won't remember who he is
- That Felicity will always be a visual reminder for how long he's been gone
- That we don't have any family here so Dylan and I are taking on a lot more responsibility than we have energy for
- that this all happened because he slipped on a rainy day

I don't know what God's big plan is and I don't really see how any of this is supposed to be better for me. How is the death of my father supposed to be better? So far it has just caused an overwhelming sense of responsibility to make sure my mom is taken care of and that my brother Evan gets his life together. The statement that keeps playing over in my head is, If God is sovereign over my dad's death then He is sovereign over my (or insert name's) life. The faith that it takes for me to believe he was in control of what happened to my dad is the same faith that it takes for me to believe he's in control of what happens next. Right now my faith isn't strong. I don't know how we're gonna make it. I just want to close my eyes and fast forward to the time when life is enjoyable again.

Working My Way Through Pinterest

If you don't know, Pinterest is the best website out there. Endless pictures of inspiration for decorating, cooking, crafting, cleaning, organizing, etc. It really is addicting. After many "pins" I decided that I actually should start making things rather than just saying that I wanted to make them. So in the last week, I tackled a couple of my pins and wanted to share which ones I tried and what I liked/didn't like about them.

1. Chicken Broccoli Supreme: I searched for a chicken and broccoli casserole so I could freeze half of it for when the baby came. This was really good. I used a little more chicken then what the recipe called for but figured we wouldn't mind the extra protein. At first I was going to serve it with rice, but my husband hates rice so I went with the next recipe.

2. Hasselback Potatoes: I kept seeing these on Pinterest and just had to try them. They didn't come out as crispy as I was hoping. Maybe I was just too impatient to wait for them to cook all the way I don't know. The bottoms were nice and crispy but the rest of the potato was just normal.

3. Snickers Salad: Just 3 ingredients. Snickers bars (frozen), cool whip, and granny smith apples. It did taste good but it can't figure out the right ratios for everything. First I thought I had too much Cool Whip and by the time I got to the end of the dessert I had too much Snickers. I think next time I might add some caramel syrup to it to get more of the caramel apple feel.

4. Mummy Dogs: I just made these yesterday for a Kids Halloween party. Super easy and cute. I used turkey dogs to make them a little bit healthier, but what's one mummy dog gonna hurt.


Once we get a more steady income, I decided to set aside one day a week for Pinterest projects. This way I can hold myself accountable to actually making something rather than mindlessly pinning pictures. It will be fun to finally start checking things off my list.

Feeding a Picky Toddler

Liam wasn't always a picky eater but the last 7 months have been pretty tough to get him to eat good things. What used to be one of his favorite food, Mac and Cheese, he will not even touch now. No pasta or rice. He doesn't even like milk. If he had his way, he would be eating fruit and carbs for every meal. So it's been a challenge to get him to eat protein, veggies, and dairy. In the last couple of days he has started to eat cheese again. He will try orange veggies, but green veggies, no way. And as far as meat goes, it just depends on what kind of mood he's in.

I kind of have been driving myself crazy trying to get him to eat a balanced diet. The main thing that was working was making him a smoothie in the morning. I would put milk, yogurt, frozen fruit, and spinach in it. That way I knew he got some calcium, protein, and veggies right from the start. Unfortunately Liam broke our blender last week, so there have been no smoothies. For other meals, it's like I have to trick him to get him to eat. Most of the time it just leaves me feeling defeated and him in tears. Searching for any kind of help online, I found an article from Dr. Sears website titled 17 Tips For Pleasing the Picky Eater . This has changed my whole approach. I can honestly say that I haven't been stressed out about it. He has been eating more real food and less snacks or organic baby food pouches. I made this card of some of the tips that I want to put into effect and have placed it on my refrigerator as a reminder.


I just need to relax and trust that he will let us know if he's hungry and as long as we commit to only offering foods that our good for him, he will be alright.


Now, we need to tackle the whole "discipline" thing.

Pumpkin Spice Syrup

In my attempt to save a little money this fall, I made my own pumpkin spice syrup. It's really easy and makes your house smell yummy in the process. Every fall I make one great purchase and that is Williams-Sonoma Mulling Spices. I've used it for apple cider, for spiced tea, and for pumpkin spice syrup. Here we go...

Ingredients:

1 part water/ 1 part sugar
4 tablespoons of Mulling Spices (from Williams and Sonoma)
4 tablespoons of Pumpkin Puree
Pumpkin Pie Spice
*cheese cloths or tea infuser if you have one

Since I didn't have a cheese cloth to put the spices in, I used a big tea infuser ball that I had. In order to keep it from getting sticky from the sugar, I put some extra water in the pot and let the spices sit in it for a while on medium heat. After about 15 minutes, I took the tea ball out and added the sugar and pumpkin puree, whisking until it dissolved. That simmered on low for about 10 minutes or until it was a little syrupy (sp?).

I got this bottle and funnel from the Container Store (my fav!) for under $4. It was the perfect bottle for this syrup.

The finished product. I actually made more than what this bottle could hold and had to dump some out. I think it yielded about 1 cup or more. I don't really know how long this should last, maybe 2-4 weeks in the fridge. We'll see if it lasts that long.

Here is my attempt at a Pumpkin Spice Latte. It was pretty weak because I had to use decaf espresso (boo). I'll try again with a half-caf. For the latte, I poured the syrup into the milk before I steamed it so that it could heat up with the milk. I added a couple of dashes of pumpkin pie spice to kick it up a notch. I think it could still use more of the pumpkin puree but it still tastes yummy.

Balsamic Skirt Steak

Last night I tried a new Martha Stewart recipe. Overall it was a hit but we were hungry like an hour after we ate. Maybe it needed some bread with it or something.

Everyday Food, March 2008

• Prep Time 35 minutes
• Total Time 35 minutes
• Yield Serves 4

Ingredients

• 2 pints grape tomatoes
• 6 scallions, white and green parts separated and cut into 1-inch pieces
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• Coarse salt and ground pepper
• 1 cup yellow cornmeal
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1/4 cup finely grated Parmesan
• 1 1/2 pounds skirt steak (cut into 2 or more pieces, if necessary, to fit in skillet)
• 1 cup balsamic vinegar

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a large saucepan, set 4 cups water to boil. On a large rimmed baking sheet, toss tomatoes with scallion whites and 1 tablespoon oil; season with salt and pepper. Roast until tomatoes are tender and some skins have split, 12 to 15 minutes; toss with scallion greens.
2. Meanwhile, add 1 teaspoon salt to boiling water; gradually whisk in cornmeal. Simmer very gently over low heat, whisking occasionally, until polenta is thickened and cooked through, about 10 minutes. Whisk in butter and Parmesan, and keep warm over very low heat (whisk in some water just before serving if polenta becomes too thick).
3. Heat remaining tablespoon oil in a large skillet over high. Season steak with salt and pepper; add to skillet. Cook, turning once, 6 to 8 minutes total for medium-rare. Transfer to a plate, cover loosely with aluminum foil, and let rest, 5 to 10 minutes (reserve skillet).
4. Add vinegar to skillet, and boil over high until reduced to 1/2 cup, 5 to 7 minutes; stir in any juices from resting steak. Slice steak, and serve with vinegar sauce, polenta, and tomatoes.

Back in Miami

Since I last blogged we have moved back to Miami. To make a long story short, we moved back for a couple of reasons. 1. To have a baby in a familiar place 2. To be close to my parents 3. For Dylan to get some mentoring. If you don't know, we are planning on moving to Italy in March to help plant a church. For us, this seemed like the best move for us to help prepare our family. We have been here for a week already and still have some work to do to get fully settled. Did I mention that I am due to have a baby in four weeks. FOUR WEEKS!!! Now that the move is over I actually can spend some brain power thinking about this baby. I've been moved around so much that I don't really feel prepared. Thank goodness I just had a baby and everything is still fresh.

I'm happy we are here, but that just means that things are about to get crazy real quick.

For Curly Haired Girls

As you know my hair is very curly. I have fought with it my whole life. It's like a love/hate relationship. Some days it looks good, some days it doesn't. Since babies have entered my world it hasn't been looking so good. When I got pregnant with Liam my hair started growing in a little straight. I didn't notice it at first, I just thought my hair was growing faster. But after I had him, my hair started falling out (which happens after you have babies but I didn't hear about it until after the fact). I tried to put my hair in a pony tail and it just looked like I had a receding hairline. When things started leveling off, all of my new growth was coming back in really curly. Now I am pregnant again and my roots are super thick and kinky.

I didn't know what to do and my hair certainly didn't know what to do, so I went to a hair salon for the first time in 5 years (since our wedding). I found a lady here in St. Pete that specializes in curly hair. Hallelujah! Her name is Tiffany and she has a shop, Live Curly Live Free, in Gulfport. So I went in to see if she could help me. Since I'm pregnant and my hair will most likely change again after I had the baby, we didn't do anything major. But what she did do was analyze my hair and recommend different products for me to use. This was very helpful. She's not about spending lots of money on products, but just using products that are good for your hair. So here is what she came up with for me.

I use these two products every day, Suave Tropical Coconut Conditioner and LA Looks Natura Curl ($4 total). Basically I just wash my hair with the conditioner, rinse with cold water, and lightly dry with a cotton t-shirt. Then, while I'm still in the shower, I add a little more conditioner as a "leave in" and lightly finger it through my hair, focusing on the dry parts. Then I add the gel, focusing on the roots and ends. Since my hair is so fine I don't bother with diffusing, but if you have thick hair I'm sure you would have to.

Then once a week I shampoo my hair with Nature's Gate ($6 at Whole Foods). She recommended really any type of organic shampoo, this one just happened to be on sale. And that same day I condition with Aubrey Organics GPB ($10 also at Whole Foods). Now this conditioner is no joke. It is protein rich, so if you have fine hair like mine it is amazing. The first time I used it, it totally weighed my hair down. I learned that a little bit goes a long way.

So that's it. If you are in the area (or just passing through) I recommend going to her. She does a great job of talking to you about your hair and she told me that she normally only needs to see her clients 2-4 times a year because their hair is in a much healthier spot.

Here's to better curls!!

Felicity's Quilt

So first of all, our daughter's name is Felicity. Yes, it was inspired by my favorite TV show. It's not my fault it's the most beautiful name and right now not that many people have it. It means "happiness", "joy", "bliss", etc. Her middle name will be Sarai, which means "my princess". So she will be our princess of happiness.

Now that that is out of the way, her quilt is finished. I sewed the quilt top together myself and was pretty happy with how it turned out. This time instead of finishing the quilt myself, I paid somebody to do it. Liam's quilt was just too much work for the little machine I had and honestly, I didn't have the energy to finish it. So the people I used provided the batting,backing fabric and thread, quilted it all together with a pattern, and even did the binding. So what probably took me a month to do with Liam's quilt, was done in one week. I am really happy with how it all turned out. The quilt pattern I chose looks great and doesn't take away from the beautifulness of the fabric. Now I just need a little girl to put on top of it.

(All the pictures are taken with my iphone so they aren't that great, but maybe later we will do a real photo shoot)

The full quilt. I used about 12 different Echino fabrics in the colors green, teal, purple, and pink. I was trying to make it babyish and girly, but I couldn't stay away from all that color.


A close up of some of the fabrics. The thread color we chose was like this purple/wine color. It did a great job of blending in with the patterns on the front.


For the back I chose lavender. The thread really stands out and you can see the pattern of flowers and vines.


How the front and back look together.

They did the binding using a machine and put this little pattern on it. I think it's a nice little touch.

Another quilt down. The professional look of this one makes me want to redo Liam's but that seems a bit crazy. I guess the homemade look is cool too.

Feminine Appeal - Chapter 2

At the moment I am crawling my way through three books and one of them is Carolyn Mahaney's Feminine Appeal. I'm only on the second chapter and I've enjoyed it already. Basically she is going through Titus chapter 2 and the charge for older women to teach younger women. Chapter 2 of the book is called "The Delight of Loving my Husband". She talks about the way that Paul encourages the older women to train the younger women how to love their husbands in Titus 2:4. The word for love that Paul uses here is the agape love that we are used to but the phileo love. This love is an affectionate compassionate love. So often as women it is easy for us to love our husbands in the agape way - sacrificially, but hard for us to love them with phileo love. Some great words of wisdom from the chapter are:

"In fact, women will often continue to sacrifice and serve their husbands even is all the tender feelings for them have subsided. Author Douglas Wilson makes this observation: 'Women are fully capable of loving a man, and sacrificing for him, while believing the entire time that he is a true unvarnished jerk. Women are good at this kind of love.'" Yikes! I often use this to justify my attitude. I can clean and wash clothes totally pissed off and think Well I'm still serving you and fulfilling my role, what are YOU doing.

"Where sin is present, warm affection dissipates. Anger, bitterness, criticism, pride, selfishness, fear, laziness -- all vigorously oppose tender love. This love cannot survive in a heart that harbors sin." You can't muster up the feelings you need to love your husband affectionately. If there is bitterness in your heart it will always seem just like a chore

"... we were created to be our husband's helper not our children's mother. Certainly we are to love, care for, and nurture our children, but this love is to flow out of a lifestyle that is first and foremost committed to helping our husbands. Our husbands should always remain first in our hearts and in our care." This is a tough one to swallow but I believe it is true. Many husbands suffer because their wives have made their kids the number one priority and have left them (the husbands) high and dry.

So far, so good. I'm excited to see what the rest of the books hold

SYTYCD Season 8

I haven't said anything about SYTYCD yet this season, but it's been great. I love the new format with the mix of dancing as a couple and then with the All Stars. I really don't want to say much but share my favorites from this season.

First of all, from last night



This didn't get as much praise as it should of



Classic Lyrical Hip Hop from NappyTabs


Ryan totally rocked it in this one


I think Clarice and Robert were perfect in this Bollywood


I really could care less about Ricky in this routine, it's all about Allison for me. She's amazing. I love the tension in her body.


Just fierce


I'm sure there are much more, but these are the ones I really liked

Anniversary Cake

Yesterday Dylan and I celebrated 5 years of marriage. Its crazy that that much time has passed but then again it feels like we've been together forever. I'm so thankful for everyone who was a part of that day and who has been a part of our lives for the last 5 years. We've been blessed with family and friends that have been great examples of what marriage is supposed to be.

Well, we weren't able to celebrate the way we wanted on the day of our anniversary so we just went out to dinner and I made a cake. I was wanting to get a cake from the same bakery that made our wedding cake, but they just happened to be out of town the last week. So, I just made it myself. Our wedding cake was an Amaretto Raspberry Swirl cake with raspberry filling and buttercream frosting. If you are in St. Pete and want to try the real thing, check out Cakes By Carolynn. I couldn't find an exact recipe for this, so I just pieced together different recipes. Take a look at how it turned out (I took all the pictures with my phone so they aren't great).

The raspberry filling. It turned out delicious and I think it's my favorite part of the cake.

I used 6 inch pans and attempted to swirl the raspberry filling. Apparently I put too much batter in the pans and not enough raspberry for the swirls, so the tops bubbled over and I had to cut off all the pretty swirls. Next time I won't use so much batter for the cake and will mix some of the batter with the raspberry filling and dollop more of it onto the cake.

The finished product after we'd eaten a couple of slices. Notice the thick layers and the lack of swirls.

Served with some frozen yogurt it was the perfect dessert. I would suggest this cake to anyone who is wanting to make a cake for a wedding or a bridal shower. It would even make awesome cupcakes!

Raspberry Filling
12 oz frozen unsweetened raspberries, thawed
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp lemon juice
2 heaping tablespoons cornstarch

1. Thaw raspberries and strain juice from berries. Add enough water to the juice to get 3/4 cup of liquid
2. In a small saucepan, combine raspberry juice/water, sugar, lemon juice, and cornstarch. Cook over medium heat, whisking constantly, until mixture bubbles and thickens. Remove from heat, set aside.
3.With a fine wire strainer, use a spoon to press the raspberries so that the seedless pulp falls into a bowl below. Strain enough pulp to get between 1/3 - 1/2 cup of pulp. *You can skip this step and just use the whole berries if you don't mind seeds

Amaretto Cake
1 cup slivered almonds
1 box Betty Crocker® SuperMoist® white cake mix
3/4 cup water
1/2 cup amaretto liqueur
1/3 cup vegetable oil
3 egg white

1. Preheat oven to 350. Grease the bottom and sides of two round cake pans, lightly flour.
2. Put almonds in food processor or blender and grind until finely ground.
3. In large bowl, beat cake mix, almonds, water, 1/2 cup liqueur, the oil and egg whites with electric mixer on low speed 30 seconds. Beat on medium speed 2 minutes, scraping bowl occasionally. Pour into pans.
4. Bake and cool as directed on box for 8- or 9-inch pans.


Buttercream Frosting (one of the best tasting I've made. I halved it for my cake)
2 cups shortening
8 cups confectioners' sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons clear imitation vanilla extract (I used pure vanilla cause it's what I had and it tastes better)
6 fluid ounces heavy cream
*Optional: 1 Tablespoon of Amaretto Liquor

1. Cream shortening until fluffy. Add confectioner's sugar and continue creaming until well blended.
2. Add salt, vanilla, and whipping cream blend on low speed until moistened. Add additional whipping cream if necessary (up to 2 ounces). Beat at high speed until frosting is fluffy.

Product Review - JJ Cole Swag Bag

I spent weeks researching for a new diaper bag. My main criteria was that it didn't look like diaper bag but more like a purse. I already have a Petunia Pickle Bottom backpack that I got for $40 at a consignment shop and it's great just a little big and boxy. So after reading many reviews and checking out prices, I settled on the JJ Cole Swag Bag. This bag has everything I was looking for and more. It's fashionable, waterproof, has lots of pockets, a changing pad, wristlet change purse, and stroller straps. I am very pleased with it and recommend it to anyone who is looking for a nice looking diaper bag. It comes in bronze and silver, but the silver is more like a pewter.

Two front zipper pockets and two deeper pockets


Two insulated side pockets


A zipper pouch in the back for the changing pad (and wipes)


The changing pad folded up


Changing pad unfolded. Not huge but covers a good amount of space.


It was hard to get a picture of the inside, but there are four pockets lining the walls and it's all waterproof


Here is everything I can fit into my bag and there it still room for more. So if you need it to hold a lot you can, or you can throw a couple things in and go.

New Quilt

My new project is making a quilt for the baby girl. There is a designer that makes the most beautiful fabric and I've been dying to use them. There are 12 different prints that are a mix a purple, green, blue and pink. Its not really baby girl colors but I'm hoping it will be something she uses for a while. All of my fabric came in this week and I've been endlessly cutting it up. I'm pretty excited to start sewing. Hopefully it turns out as well as it looks in my head.

Eventless Planner

During our year in Orlando, we had the opportunity to do a lot of assessment tests to see where our skills and strengths are. It turns out my skills are planning, organizing, and creating. While we were considering our future and Dylan was leaning towards leaving staff and doing graphic design, I kind of freaked out because that meant that I would have to get a job. And I had no idea what I would be good out. But after going through these tests I thought, Hey I think I would be good at event planning. It's something that I'm interested in and excites me. Thankfully God lead us down another road, to a future that is much more rewarding.

However, I find that event planning is something that still lingers in me. I'm always thinking of party plans, watching wedding shows, looking up ideas online, etc. But I am planning events for no one. I have a bookmark tab that is full of websites, but I've never been able to use them. As I added another website to my list, I started to worry if I would every have the opportunity to throw someone a shower, plan a wedding, or a birthday party. No one has ever asked me and I feared that no one will. As I shared my disappointment with Dylan, he told me the simplest things, "Go to God with it". I've been incredibly blessed to have a husband that is fully saturating himself in the gospel and is able to speak hopeful truth to me. He assured me that if God gave me these skills and desires, that he had a purpose in them. Maybe I will be able to use them in different ways.

As I write this, I feel like it may come across as something very trivial. But anyone who has been passionate about doing something but can't figure out how to make it come to be will sympathize with me. If only I had the money I would just throw awesome parties for myself.

Arts and Crafts Day

Liam and I attempted some arts and crafts today. Needless to say it didn't go as planned. I bought him some new Toy Story paper and a set of watercolors. We sat down and all he wanted to do was dip the paintbrush in the water. So I thought maybe I should make some finger paint. I mixed yogurt with some food coloring in a little pallet and immediately when I set it on the table Liam stuck his finger in it and ate it. He didn't even hesitate. Finger painting quickly turned into paint eating. Maybe he's not ready for all this, but he had a good time.

What LHS has meant

From my journal on Monday

"So, Lake Hart Stint is over and we are now in St. Pete. When I think about LHS being over I get sad, and I didn't think I would get this emotional about it. When we finally laid on the floor of our empty apartment at Cypress Lake, I started tearing up. This apartment represented so much and it is where God restored so much.

- I came as a worn out, tired woman and was leaving as a woman who literally had new life in her
- I came somewhat resenting motherhood and am leaving seeing it as a true blessing
- My son came as a source of great frustration for me and is leaving as a source of great joy
- I cam doubting God's goodness and am leaving with full faith that he has my best in mind
- Dylan and I cam as two individuals, co-existing in the same space just trying to survive and are leaving stronger and more in love than before
- My husband came exhausted from ministry and lack of vision and is leaving motivated with a better dream than he could have ever dreamt of

As I laid on the floor I thought of these things and how God has been so good to us. The walls of that apartment represented his blessings in our lives"

Liam's Quilt

I meant to put these pictures up a long time ago since I finished Liam's quilt in February. I had great dreams of having this photo shoot with it so you could really see the the whole thing, but that hasn't happened and three months have passed. I said while I was working on this that I never wanted to do a quilt again, but now I'm having the itch. The learning curve was big, but I think I could do one again in less time. Also, maybe I need to make the next one bigger since this quilt only has room for Liam and I.

This was a trial run of laying out the fabric to see what it would look like together. This was before the solids were added.

Here is all the fabric with solids and my plan for attack. You are really supposed to do this at random, but I wanted all the colors to be distributed evenly.

My first strip sewn together. Only 9 more to go.

My collection of strips

Skip a few steps ahead and this is me quilting all the layers together. A very long process

A horrible picture of the finished product with black binding and a solid grey back. I like how it came out, just wish it was a little bigger. Oh well, maybe next time.

The Tough Transition into Motherhood

Last week I spent sometime evaluating different areas of my life and was really disappointed to find that I'm not doing so well. Once Liam came, life stopped and I hoped at this point I would be back to the familiar me, but I'm not. My life isn't much different than it was one year ago. The only area that I can see growth is in my mothering skills. Everything else, like my relationship with God, time with friends, doing things that refresh me, managing my home, etc., has taken a major downturn. It's like I don't know how to be me in this new role as a mother and keep up with all these other areas in life. I mean, I good day for me is Liam eating and sleeping well, beyond that, I make no promises. At this point I was hoping to be thriving again, having a deep relationship with God, enjoying my family, spending great time with friends, being healthy and taking care of my body, and having a clean home. I don't know how to merge what was true of my life before into this new role as a mother. It's not that I have high expectations on what my life should look like, I just don't know how to put it all together. I've been in survival mode for over a year now and I don't know how to move on to a more sustainable life.

Preparing for Easter

As I've been reflecting this week on Christ and his death and resurrection, there have been a couple of songs that have been playing over and over in my mind. I don't really care about these videos but it was the easiest way to share these songs. The first is by Matt Maher and the second by Phil Wickham. When I first heard them a couple years ago, I remember kind of being stopped in my tracks because of the lyrics. I hope that they will help usher you into a time of thanksgiving and praise for Gods love and for Christ's sacrifice and triumph over death.

Blogging Fail

It turns out that I'm not really good at blogging. At least in frequency. There are so many times I think about writing something but by the time I actually get a chance to blog, I've totally forgotten about it. I wish that there were just a way to have your thoughts recorded cause when I go to bed at the end of the day I have many thoughts about life. And they are really well put, but in the morning, it's all gone. My problem is that I'm a semi-perfectionist. I want the things I say to sound cohesive and well thought out, so it takes me a while to write anything. And by the time I've thought out exactly what I want to say, it's no longer relevant cause the moment has passed. Maybe I just need to write down a little at a time in my journal and transfer it over, then it wouldn't feel so burdensome.

Ok, that's all I'm gonna say for now.

1 Year Down

This was the scenario a year ago:
I went to bed on March 25th at 12am. At 3 am I started feeling my first contractions. After about 3 hours of rotating from our bed, to Liam's floor, to the shower, I finally woke Dylan up and told him that I thought today was the day. Actually I cried telling him, because I was so scared that it was actually happening. Then after a crazy day Liam was born at 5:05pm.

It is only by the grace of God that we survived this first year. In a way it feels like a blur but in another way it feels like soooo much has happened. There are so many people to thank for helping us get through this year. First off, my amazing husband. He has been the biggest blessing in my life. It's kind of like soldiers that have been at war together. They have this special bond because only they know exactly what it's like to go through what they went through. Only Dylan knows how hard it was those first couple of months and he was a trooper. Then there are our parents. They came to the rescue whenever we needed help. We were actually able to get out of the house because of them. They cleaned, fed us, and loved Liam well. We had lots of help and fun from siblings, our church, college friends, and crusade staff.

It's been a year of ups and downs, but we made it.

Happy Birthday Little Buddy! You make our world a brighter place

gDiapers

I had first heard of gDiapers from my sister-in-law. I thought that they were really cute and I liked the idea of them, but was unsure about trying them. After about a month or so of thinking about them I decided to give it a try. I bought a little 2 pack of the gpants, 6 cloth inserts, and a pack of disposable inserts. The great thing about the disposable inserts is that you can flush, compost, or throw them away. There's no plastic in them so they are much better for the environment. How it works is that you have the outer pants that really just keep everything together. Inside of that is a snap-in plasticish liner that protects the dirty cloths from the pants so you don't have to wash the pants every time you have a dirty diaper. And then you have the option of using the cloth or disposable insert.

So here's how it's been working for me. After the first day or two I realized that I probably should get more gpants because if I put the diaper on wrong it would leak on to the cover and I had to wait to wash it before I used it again. But then Liam got a stomach bug and was pooping about 4 times a day, so I had to retire my 2 cloth diapers for the week because it was getting nasty. Once my other set of diapers came we were good to go. Since I am home during the day I make a wet pail in the washing machine. Just fill it up, put a little Borax in it and toss each dirty cloth insert (after you dump the poop in the toilet) and snap-in liner as the day goes. At the end of the day I just run the washing machine and dry the inserts and we're good to go for the next day. Having the diapers soak all day helps with them not be so smelly and so stains don't set. The only downside I've had is that they aren't as absorbent as normal disposable diapers. I have to change him more regularly because if I don't he starts to get a rash. And he never ever got a rash with disposable diapers. At night I still but a disposable diaper on him because in case he goes to the bathroom, I don't him to wake up. When we go out to places like Church or Disney, I do put the disposables on him so we don't have to deal with that there. Maybe overtime I will be confident in using them out, but I'm not there yet.

So, that's my review of gDiapers. Check them out if you're interested. You can buy them online or at Babies R Us.

Fried Rice

I've been meaning to share this recipe for a while but I kept forgetting. I love asian food but I'm always intimidated by recipes and have never really tried making it at home (except for stir fry). So when I saw this recipe in Martha Stewarts Everyday Food Magazine, I was really excited to try it. It actually was one of the easier meals I've made. It took some time chopping up things and cooking the rice, but I was really pleased with how it came out. Instead of the ground pork I used chicken and shrimp that we had leftover from dinner the previous days. So it really was a cheap meal because I used leftover meat, some leftover rice, and I already had frozen peas and carrots. I look forward to making it again and figuring out whatelse I can serve with it.

Girls Weekend

I've been meaning to blog for a week but life has kind of gotten in the way. Last weekend some of my best friends from college and I got together for a girls weekend. It was SOOO great. Eight years ago I was blessed with an amazing small group and to this day they are cherished friends. As we shared stories through laughter and tears, I felt incredibly blessed to have these women in my life. And it was great to see how God has been moving in our lives and growing us in our faith. But those late nights killed me. I clearly don't get out enough. I think I was up til 1 am both nights and Liam wasn't sleeping well so he kept waking up early. Needless to say, when Sunday came around I was like a zombie. I definitely went to bed at 9pm that night.

A Quilter I am Not

I have ventured into the world of quilting and I don't think I like it. I enjoyed picking out the colors, fabric and creating the designed. I was okay with cutting a bunch of squares and sewing them together into something beautiful. But putting it all together with the batting and the pinning and the taping was not fun. The quilt I'm making was too hefty for the machine I have so it wouldn't feed through properly and kept pulling cause it was so heavy. So all my lines are crooked :( Oh well. The next time I do a quilt I will just piece together the top and send it to a quilt shop to be "quilted". Lesson learned

A Night with JEW

Friday night Dylan and I actually went out. It was supposed to be a surprise date for Dylan as an early birthday present, but I just ended up telling him. Surprises are a lot of work and I wanted him to have something to look forward to at the end of his work day. So we went to see Jimmy Eat World play at the House of Blues. It was amazing! Funny thing is that we went to this same concert at the House of Blues 6 years ago when they released Futures. And our sad reality is that we haven't been to ANY concerts in over 2 years. We're lame.

But JEW is amazing and Jim Adkins is a beast. His passion for music literally pours out of his body. As I watched the sweat and spit fly I though, man I want to have that same passion. Their music just effects me. There were times in the concert when I just closed my eyes and soaked it all in. They had this girl singing and playing the keyboard but she really wasn't doing much. I thought I could do that and I would love it. I think that Jimmy Eat World needs some ethnicity in their band and fan base. I'm pretty sure I counted about 6 black people at the concert. It's pretty bad when you can COUNT the black people and are certain you haven't miscounted because you know their faces.

All in all it was a great night and I look forward to our next concert. Hopefully it will be soon.

My Cry Baby

Thank you Ree Drummond

Thank you Ree Drummond, the Pioneer Woman, for your photos, recipes, craft projects and all around awesomeness. And thank you also, for creating an impossible standard for bloggers. I mean who has time to do all that? Honestly who has time to take and upload photos, make food, homeschool your kids, clean your house, love your husband, AND blog about it all EVERYDAY. It's crazy. I barely have time to take a shower. I will never be as good as you at blogging and I'm okay with that.

New Baby Food

Some of Liam's favorite food right now are blueberry pancakes and mac & cheese. The boy loves his carbs. I actually enjoy making these foods because I get to eat them too! I don't really follow a recipe for the mac and cheese, I just mix together pasta (ditalini), plain yogurt, shredded cheese, and toss a in few vegetables. For the blueberry pancakes I use the recipe from my Baby Love book.

Whole Grain Blueberry Pancakes

Serving Size:

Makes eight 2-ounce pancakes.

Ingredients:

For the pancake mix:

• 3 cups whole wheat flour
• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 2 tablespoons sugar

For the pancakes:

• 2 cups pancake mix (from above)
• 2 tablespoons ground flaxseed
• 2 eggs
• 1 pint buttermilk
• 1/2 stick unsalted butter, melted (that is 1/8 pound)
• 1/2 cup fresh blueberries

Method:

In a large bowl, combine the ingredients for the dry pancake mix. Store in a zipper bag or in a plastic container with a tight fitting lid.

Preheat griddle to 350°F. You can also use a large cast-iron pan or a nonstick pan.

Just let it preheat for a while on medium heat — you’ll have to practice a bit to achieve the correct and consistent heat. Pour the pancake mix and the flaxseed into a large bowl. Whisk eggs in a small bowl. Add buttermilk and then melted butter to the small bowl and whisk ingredients together.

Add the egg, buttermilk, and butter mixture to the pancake mix and the flaxseed.

Add blueberries. Slowly whisk together to just combine wet and dry ingredients.

You do not want the mixture to be smooth. Ladle mixture (about 2 ounces per pancake) onto the griddle and cook until golden brown. Flip and cook the other side until golden brown. This should take approximately 5 to 6 minutes.

Eight Years Ago Today

January 17th, 2003, Dylan and I went on our first date. I was a freshman and he was a sophmore. Just little babies. We went to the Olive Garden, SAK, hopped a fence and shot off fireworks at Blanchard, and talked til four in the morning. On Saturday we attempted to recreate this date. Instead of Olive Garden we decided to class it up by going to Urban Flats (fried green tomatoes, yumm). Then we headed to SAK which was as hilarious as I remembered. We skipped the fireworks and late night talking and rushed home to bed by midnight. It was a great night. I felt like it was the old us again. Not the tired, lame, homebodies we've become. This is why people have date nights once a week, so they can get a glimpse of what it used to be like to be a couple.

And to top it off, Liam slept almost 12 hours that night and woke up with happy babbling.

Liam's Taggie Blanket

This weeks project was to make Liam a taggie blanket. Since I loved all the fabric I recently got I couldn't decide on one and just made a patchwork on one side. I loved the way it turned out, just wish the fabrics were a little softer. I also learned 1. that I can't sew a straight line and 2. working with soft fuzzy fabrics isn't easy.

All the strips laid out

The top all stiched together

The back was white minky fabric and I got all the ribbon from Jo Anns.

The contrast of the front and back

I attached some velcro to hold a pacifier or to attach to a stroller.