Good, but not Great

I was thinking today about how awkward it is when people ask how things are going or how we are doing. "Good", "Okay", or "Alright" are my normal go-tos and that changes hour by hour. But I wondered if I would ever again answer that things are "Great".

Life after loss is like a dark cloud over your head. It's like my new neutral state is sad. And it's not that there isn't any happiness left in life. There will be moments of joy; when I laugh, smile, enjoy a movie, spend the day at the beach, go on a date, play with my kids, etc. But when the dust settles, it's back to sadness.

I'm not saying that this is a good thing, it's just how it is right now. When things stop moving, the loss is what my mind goes to. Even moments of happiness are quickly dimmed when I think about my father not being there to share in the moment. I wonder if it will always feel this way. If I will always feel this overarching gloom about life.


Oh, that I would find joy in the hope of my salvation and not in my circumstances.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

It sure doesn't seem like the most wonderful time of the year. With recent tragedies in our country I am reminded that for many people this is the most depressing time of the year. A time filled with grief, loss, heartbreak, and pain. And all around us we are bombarded with what we don't have.

I came face to face with this last year dealing with my father's death in the midst of the holidays. I couldn't stomach much Holiday music because I felt like they were all lies. It wasn't the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. I wasn't having a Holly Jolly Christmas. My days weren't Merry and Bright. And social media didn't help. Seeing people's awesome family vacations, family pictures, shopping adventures, and Holiday parties was all too much. Life was terrible, thanks for reminding me.

I say the word Holiday instead of Christmas because it was the superficial aspect of the Holidays that made me depressed, not Christ. When Christmas was about Christ and his coming to redeem what what broken, then I was hopeful.  I remember being in church during one of the Advent Sundays, pacing back and forth with Felicity in her Ergo carrier, and having tears well up in my eyes because Christmas had become real to me. Hope was birthed in me because I had tasted the bitterness of death. Christmas wasn't about being merry and bright because we're baking cookies, playing in the snow, and singing silly songs. Christmas is about hope. And with that hope in mind, I can enjoy the time spent family and friends eating good food, giving gifts, singing carols, and celebrating what Christmas means.

"A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices"

This was certainly true in my case. Never have I been more thankful that Christ had come to our world, born a baby, died on the cross, to conquer sin and death, and restore all that is lost.

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'"
Revelation 21:3-5

Gifts for Moms

I meant to write this post a while ago and had planned for it to look all awesome with pictures but, as my friend Sweet Brown would say, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" Now I realize that not everything I say is going to be applicable to all women. You know the moms in your life and their personal preferences. I'm just saying that, at least for myself, these are always good gifts anytime of the year.

1. Gift Cards to Specific Stores
Do not get a mom a gift card to Target or a Visa gift card. She WILL use that money on groceries and diapers. Instead, choose a specific store where she can only spend it on herself. Victoria Secret is a great one because moms never buy themselves good underwear.

2. Bath and Body Treats
You can never have enough bubble bath, hand soaps, or lotion. I'm always happy when someone buys me stuff but that also depends on the fragrance. If you don't know what their preference is (flowery or fruity) stick to the basics, vanilla or lavender.

3. Candles
No one wants to spend $10 on a candle, but we love when someone else buys them for us.

4. Pamper Her
Consider giving her a gift certificate to pampering services. Maybe a trip to the spa, a mani-pedi, or even a hair cut. It's hard to make time for these things, so maybe you could also offer to watch the kids while she goes and does these things.

5. Make Up
I don't know the last time I bought make up besides eyeliner and mascara. Everything else has been given to me. And it doesn't matter how small it is, I'm just as excited. Splurge and buy her something from a department store instead of the pharmacy store.

6. Stationary
Note cards, journals, and note pads are all great gifts. Anthropologie has some great ones or you could order some personalized sets online through many different companies.

7. Annual Passes for Kids
This might not seem like a gift for mom, but there are many days when I just wanted to take my kids somewhere to get out of the house. Passes to indoor playgrounds are a life saver for rainy days. Zoo passes are awesome when the weather is nice. If you REALLY want to splurge, Disney passes are where it's at.

8. Free babysitting
I think this is an obvious one. Babysitting is expensive and when we can get it for free, it's awesome. Instead of leaving all the initiating up to them by saying, "If you need a babysitter, let us know" take the initiative. Recently we had friends that just approached us and said, "We want to babysit for you this Saturday night, so make plans." We were forced to go out and we didn't have to do anything.

9. Pinterest Insipred
If you're thinking how broke you are to give any of these gifts, look to pinterest. Maybe you are crafty or are great in the kitchen and can make things. You could even stalk their Pinterest page and see what things they like and make them. I think you would have to know the person and whether or not they like making the crafts or would just like to have them. Instead of stealing their joy in making things, you could provide all the supplies needed. Kitchen gifts are great cheap ideas. Maybe homemade cookies, a spice rub, or jam.

10. Photo Gifts
No one prints out photos anymore so you could do a lot with this. Print and frame a picture, make a photo book, or a family calendar. I don't have a digital frame but maybe that could be a good idea.

*New 11. Magazine Subscriptions
I don't know how I forgot this. Two years ago Dylan got me year subscriptions to Martha Stewart Living and Rachael Ray for Christmas. It was great. I loved that it lasted all year long. There are so many options of magazines to fit everyone's taste. People - for everyday popular stories. Martha Stewart Living - amazing recipes and crafts. Relevant - faith an culture. Parenting - tips and resources. The great thing is that you can get subscriptions through amazon.com so they are good last minute gifts. Just buy them the recent copy and tell them the rest are on their way.
 


Again, these are my go to gifts that are good anytime of year but especially applicable for Christmas. Do you have any that you would add?

 

Felicity's Rustic Pumpkin Birthday

As always, I have these great plans for parties and eventually have to scale back because they get expensive really fast. And now with Pinterest and Etsy, my expectations of a good party are way to high. I mean, it's a one year old's party for goodness sake.

So the theme I decided on was a Rustic Pumpkin Party for our little pumpkin. I got the idea from the Hostess with the Mostess Blog. I obviously didn't have the resources to do the same kind of party they did, so I changed it up a bit.

 The great thing about this theme was that it was very easy to find supplies. My brilliant plan was to wait until after Halloween so get pumpkin supplies because I figured they would be on sale, and they were. It's just that, things became really hard to find the closer I got to her birthday. So it kind of worked but I think that next time, I will get a few things earlier. Another good thing was that I was hosting it in my home, so I could decorate a little at a time. I made some burlap banners that were up pretty much the two weeks before the party and a good month afterward.

For the food, I decided on a fall themed menu. I didn't want to go too crazy with the whole "pumpkin" theme with the food, so I chose fall inspired dishes. I probably should have scaled back the food a bit, but the Puerto Rican side of me didn't want to chance people going hungry. There were lots of leftovers and we were happy to give them away. For the cake, I went with pumpkin spice with cream cheese icing. Everything was delicious.

 It was a great party, with good friends and family, celebrating our little princess. I went into a coma afterwards, but it was a great party.

My husband just whipped this up

Burlap Banner with lace and pumpkin appliques

We put roses around the house to add a girlie touch

The pumpkins were actually cupcake toppers that I glued to lace

The table spread

Pumpkin Rice Krispie Treats

Mini Apple Pies

Autumn Trail Mix

Rose Smash Cake

Pumpkin Cupcakes

The Birthday Girl

She's passionate about cake

Happy Birthday Princess!

Food:
Smash Cake and Cupcakes - Princess Pea Cupcakery
Fall Fruit Salad
Mini Apple Pies
Pumpkin Rice Krispies
Fall Trail Mix
Pumpkin Hummus and Veggies
Roasted Vegetable Fall Pizza
Earth's Best Organic Pouches (Pumpkin/Cranberry/Apple & Butternut Squash/Pear)
Frozen mini corn dogs and pigs in a blanket

Drinks:
Apple Juice
Hot Apple Cider with Mulling Spices
Shock Top Pumpkin Wheat Beer