Nut-Free Fall Trail Mix

There are a lot of different trail mix recipes out there. For my daughter's birthday I tried to find one that was more allergy friendly since we have some friends with allergies. After much searching, I couldn't find one that I loved so instead I came up with my own. It isn't completely allergy free, but I think if you avoid eating certain elements, it could work. I tried to avoid nuts and gluten mostly. You can always adapt it to fit your own likings.

Nut-Free Trail Mix
4 Cups Chocolate Chex Mix
4 Cups Kettle Corn
4 Cups Tiny twist Pretzels (omit for wheat allergy)
1 bag of Autumn Mix honey candy
2 cups Fall M&Ms or Reeses Pieces (omit for milk, or substitute with dairy free chocolate chips)

*optional (if you have to omit lots of things):
2 cups miniature marshmallows, or two bags of Dandies Marshmallow
2 cups of Bugles or another gluten free snack

The Time has Come

November 5th has come and gone. The week leading up to it I was an emotional mess, crying all the time but also celebrating my daughter's first birthday. I was completely exhausted in every way. I didn't really have time to prepare myself for what I would be feeling. However, it was comforting just to be around my family. My brother and his family drove through the night on Saturday just so we all could be together. We haven't really grieved together as a family since it happened so it was necessary for our souls. 

Sunday night, some friends of my parents that live here in South Florida put together a worship night in my father's honor. It was a night to remember, grieve , heal and remind ourselves of the gospel.  The interesting thing is that it wasn't necessarily for my family. They would have done this even if we were unable to come. They missed him and wanted to come together to worship as he had taught them. That is very special. The people here have only known my father for 3 years but the stories they told and the way they spoke of him made it seem like they had known him for years. Together they made a scrap book full of stories and pictures of my dad and we are grateful. We thought he was a great man; it nice to know that others thought the same. 

 

This tragic day is bookended by two special days. Felicity's birthday on Nov. 2 and my nephew Augustin's birthday on Nov. 12. Since we were all together we did a little celebration with them and introduced them to their first Carvel ice cream cake (a Richardson staple). Right now, their birth is a painful reminder of my father's absence. I pray and hope that as the years pass my heart would be thankful for this timing and see it as an act of God's grace. We are so thankful for our cute crazy kids and wish that my father were here to enjoy them with us.

The little gang

... and August just destroyed it

Felicity was very careful

 

 

 

 At the end of the day, we met some of my mom's friends at the beach to send off paper lanterns in memory of my father. As I looked at the group gathered on the beach, I realized that I year ago I didn't know who most of them were. But as the year went on, these would be the people that have cared for my mom here in South Florida (and many others who are not local). They have welcomed her into their families and have truly loved her in a way that would honor my father. I was comforted to know that not only did these people love my father, they deeply loved my mom and were committed to her. 

 We have survived the first year. Now we choose to walk in faith trusting that God's plans are good and he still has a purpose for us.

Preparing for the Last "First"

It's hard to put into words the things that have been going around in my head as we near the one year mark of my father's passing. Everyday I think of what I was doing last year at this time and how different I thought our life was going to be. I thought we would be living in Salerno with our best friends, learning Italian, making friends with the locals, and gearing up for our parents to visit us. But that is not how the story went. 

All my mental energy has been focused on Halloween costumes and getting ready for Felicity's first birthday. Which has been both good and bad. I have had something to look forward to, but haven't made the time to grieve. I feel like it just snuck up on me and all of a sudden it's here. After Felicity's birthday there is only one more "first" to walk through. The end of the first year without my dad. This makes it so real to me. That THIS is going to be the new normal. It's so heartbreaking for life to go on without him and that soon it will be normal for him not to be here. I don't even want to know what that feels like. 

What I recently learned is this: God used the birth of my daughter to prepare me for what was to come. My labor with Felicity was long and the most physical pain I have ever felt. It literally felt like torture. My body was torturing me and there was nothing I could do about it. A couple days before the birth, I wrote in my journal that I was stressed about our finances and didn't think that I was going to be able to do this birth because I had reached the end of my rope. I felt defeated. But when the time came, God gave me the strength and the support from others to endure the pain and in the end a beautiful girl was born. I learned then that great pain can lead to great joy. Little did I know that the real test of my faith was going to be three days later. By His strength and the support of others, I have been able to walk through this pain and see that in the end, it will be beautiful. It's not now, but one day it will be.

Felicity was God's gracious reminder that pain can lead to joy. The pain of my father's death was, and is, still great, but because of God's grace, I can now joyfully and eagerly anticipate the redemption of all that is broken, and eternity spent with Him. 

Too busy to Blog

I've been a little absent from the blogging world lately mostly because I am too busy. Right now at the moment there is a toddler (who didn't nap) sitting next to me demanding that I do the "Iron Man hand" to him and a little girl (who is supposed to be napping) crying in the distance. This is my life. Who has time to blog? Friday I tried to write one email and it took literally one hour to finish it. Every thought is constantly interrupted. I've had way too many things going on to have time to do this. And the annoying thing is that I put pressure on myself for not blogging.

There are so many great bloggers out there and I wonder where they find the time to do this. Between the moving, cooking, cleaning, dirty diapers, nap schedules, time outs, and grocery shopping, there is no time for blogging. The only time I have for myself during the day is at night once the kids go to sleep but most nights I'm completely tired of thinking and just want to veg out.

I originally started blogging because I was a new mom, alone at home, with no one to talk to and share my thoughts. So maybe it's a good thing that I'm not blogging more frequently because it means that I actually have a life and friends to talk to. But I am still an internal processor and constantly have things running in my head so this is a good release for me.



And that's all the time I have for now...